Effective Parenting Starts In The Heart

Even though the prevailing thought that parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual is true, there are numerous self-help books on the market addressing the care and well-being of children in the home. However, these are mostly mechanical in nature, from dealing with diaper rash to convincing teens of the merits of good dietary habits.

You can also find explicit instructions on what to do, what products you should have in your first aid kit and dealing with colds and flus, etc. However, when it comes to issues such as instilling good values, building character and dealing with a child's individual emotional development, there truly is no definitive text. Effective parenting on this level is essentially a matter of the heart.

That is not to say there aren't any books available in this area. There are in fact many books, written by experts in the fields of psychology and child development, but the opinions expressed are just that – opinions.

Just because these books are written by professionals so-called in their respective fields of education doesn't necessarily equate to them 'knowing it all' when it comes to raising children. In fact, their writings are often influenced by their particular school of thought, and that can vary widely.

From the 'tough love' approach to the most extreme strategies of liberal child-rearing, you might spend your kid's entire childhood trying to figure out which opinion is the right one for your kids. In the end, effective parenting techniques depend on gearing your strategies to each unique child and his or her needs. The outgoing, strong-willed child won't respond to the same method of teaching as will the more introverted, flexible personality of a sibling. This presents a difficult challenge to any parent.

Apart from the A to Z approach offered by these 'experts', there are certain basics to effective parenting that are most critical when raising a healthy, responsible child. These would include things such as being consistent in matters of discipline, equal treatment, setting good examples and a firm but loving hand applied to all of your responses to a variety of situations. The difficulty lies in making the necessary adjustments required to effectively address the individual child. In this sense, every parent must become each child's personal psychologist.

Coupled with ministering to the individual personality of each child, you must learn to address the developmental stages, from toddlers right through adolescents on the verge of adulthood. Your job as a parent is to ultimately, step by step, prepare your kids for life as an adult, with the abilities necessary to make 'good' choices, based on sound judgment, experience and values that allow them to succeed as adults. It ultimately comes down to this: There is no magic formula for effective parenting!

Perhaps the best advice on effective parenting, both given and taken, is to rely on your love for your children and let your heart lead you. Throughout every stage of life a child goes through before reaching adulthood, your consistent demonstration of loving care may well be your most valuable asset to the challenge of effective parenting.